What Those Ebon Depths Saw
by Grinning Reaper
Summary: Wufei has seen something that has scarred him into permanant silence, Duo and the others try to help but can they reach him? Ch. 9! Finally and update yaoi and ANNNNGSSST!!!!!!!! Smeg! 1x4 2x5 woo woo woo!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I have yet to conquer the world, so no, I do not own this.  
  
A/N: This had been on my desk for a very long time. Thought I'd try to put up a chapter. The prologue may sound happy, but it's not. This is an angst piece.  
  
Prologue:  
  
Bubbles  
  
His lidded obsidian eyes watched the ceiling as he took in a deep breath and blew gently. Bubbles in all their ghost-like and whimsical beauty floated in the air before him. One landed on a softly rounded nose and popped.  
  
"Where do they go?" he mused aloud. "Where do the bubbles go when they pop?" here he nodded his head gravely, as if making a very difficult decision. "When they disappear, do they just disappear into nothingness or do they or do they have a place to disappear to?" He asked softly as another bubble popped. He reached up and popped yet another with a long and graceful index finger. "Is that where they went when they went away? Where the bubbles popped? He said that he would get killed one day didn't he? But did he pop instead? Can people pop? Once I saw a man in a fire...he popped." He cocked his head at a light rustling noise. It was probably just Trowa. He was with Wufei quite a great deal after he `popped'. He was trying to get him to tell everyone. What he saw. Never. Never. Wufei ignored Trowa and continued to talk to himself. "But him...I never wanted to kill him. Is that what you're supposed to do? Kill people you love? I don't wanna love anymore then..." the blackened  
eyes lowered and he put the cap back on the bottle of bubbles. A child's toy. Was he a child? He might have been once. Yes, yes, he was a child. He used to smile, maybe even laugh. That is until war raked it's ugly claws across his face and took the one most important to him. She was like his sister. Maybe she even was. It was too hard to remember. It's hard to remember when you are the last of your kind. "I don't want anyone else to pop..." Years later, he fell in love or it might have been love if his love hadn't have died in battle. And at Wufei's own hands. It was the way his love had said he wanted it. Sometimes, though he would never tell anyone this, when he looked down at his hands, they were covered in blood. And sometimes, he still dreamed of him. But that was only sometimes.........  
  
Duo shook his head making his long braid swing like the pendulum in a Grandfather Clock.  
  
"What happened to you Wu-man?" he asked softly. The Chinese boy didn't pay heed to the quiet words spoken; he lay on his bed in a pair of red pajama bottoms-nothing else-and looked up at the ceiling. Duo recalled when he had first become this way. He had been out with Heero and Quatre they were going shopping for groceries. Trowa was off doing Shingami knows what, leaving Wufei alone in the house. It was about three months after the war. When they had gotten back, Wufei was in Trowa's room, slumped in a corner, wide eyed and white faced. Trowa was never seen from then to the current day. It was almost a year now; Wufei had barely spoken a word since that day. This was the most he had said as of late. Relena was quite worried about him and visited often. (The God of Death was suspicious that that was a ploy to let her see Heero more often,) But here's what really got Duo: Wufei was skittish around Relena, terrified of her really. Wouldn't let her get near him. The old Wufei  
would shout her down and call her a weak onna. But now, whenever she was over, he stayed close to Duo and would whimper and grab his arm if the pink plastered she-devil came near. The other thing that Duo didn't understand was that Wufei seemed to be closer to him now. Maybe because it was he who had first found the Chinese boy in a state of shock on their soon-to-be-missing comrade's floor that must be why the once-Nataku pilot was so close to him now. Right? It had to be.  
  
"Wu-man," Duo called to his friend just loud enough to be heard, "Quat's got dinner ready. You're favorite. Low Main. (A/N: I dunno how to spell Chinese cuisine!) Wufei looked up and smiled briefly. He nodded and rose from his bed.  
  
"Hungry?" Duo quired. Wufei simply nodded again. Duo made this next statement with trepidation. "Relena's eating with us." Onyx eyes widened and a doll-like yet strong hand gripped his arm, as if to say `Why didn't you *tell* me???' Duo gave the hand a warm squeeze.  
  
"Dun worry Wufei... I'll... I'll protect you." //From what??// Duo wondered. //What do I have to protect him from? Protect? Where did *that* come from any ways?? I'm starting to act like Q-man... ...// Duo thought as he lead the other boy down the stairs.  
  
Grinning Reaper: What a shock! Reaper-chan is writing something other than humor!! My usual pairings.........maybe, heh heh heh! Any-hoo, I want 5 (ya got that? 5!) reviews before I post the next chapter.  
  
Quatre: Really, bribing you readers...  
  
Grinning Reaper: Well I need feedback or how am I going to know how to improve?  
  
Sorrow: (angst muse) REVIEW THE STORY WORTHLESS MORTALS!!! BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRN!  
  
Quatre: Eh, he means that he'd appreciate it very much if you told Reaper-chan what you thought.  
  
Grinning Reaper: Oh, I forgot my shpeal about flames. (ahem) Good reviews shall be cherished and flames will be used to toast marshmallows. Also, I decided to make Wufei the `traumatized' one because there aren't very many fics where he's not all there. As you know, I like to do things differently. Now, with that out of the way...R&R onegai ishimase! 


	2. Along those Lines

The all purpose disclaimer: I (choose one) *Do not own this *Wish I own this *Want to conquer the World *Say I own this but really don't *Eat too much sugar *Other  
  
You are (choose one) *Actually going to read this *Here for no reason *Thinking I'm crazy *Here for the snacks *Plotting to kill me *Other  
  
Have a (choose one) *Good morning *Good day *Good night *Bad morning *Bad day *Bad night *Horrible rest of you life  
  
Grinning Reaper: K'nnichiwa minna! I got 8 whole reviews!! Yay!!!! And they were all such nice reviews too!  
  
Wufei: Who let the onna have the green tea?  
  
Quatre: This is my chapter, I'm a tad OOC but it's justified…  
  
Duo: Grinning-Reaper-Chibi-Pink-Death-Injustice-No-Baka-Little-Winner (long title ne? Now you see why we call her Reaper-chan! Would like to thank G'Vola for giving her that huuuuuuge compliment in her review and for giving Sorrow that pocky.  
  
Sorrow: Hee hee! Nice candy of angst muse! BUUUUUUUUUURRRRNN!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter One:  
  
Along the Lines of That  
  
"I 'm really quite glad to see you all. It's been so long, I missed every one while I was at L3, so has he made any progress?" Relena chattered endlessly about…well…nothing.  
  
The last part, the 'has he made any progress?' part was of course, directed toward Wufei. I stared at him; his eyes were aimed at nothing. He was just staring, maybe he was remembering. Silent stricken. That's what Heero said had happened to Wufei. He had seen something that made him not want to talk. I think that somebody stole his voice. Wufei is strong. Nothing that could have ever happened to him could force him in to the darkened depths of silence. He was so vocal. He never missed an opportunity to speak. A witch must have stolen his voice. But that's just what I think. That's just silly, innocent, little Quatre Rebabra Winner and his silly, innocent opinions. They're right. I am still a boy.  
  
"Well?" Relena looked questioningly at me. I shrugged.  
  
"Duo would know better." I replied. Relena gave Wufei a honey-sweet smile. There was something in those eyes. Something in those ebon depths I can't quite place. Fear maybe? Hate? Or could there be a connection between them? A blend of all three?  
  
"Wu-fei-how-are-you?" Relena asked. She was speaking very slow and drawing out her vowels. Pigeon English. She was talking to pigeon English to him.  
  
"Relena, he's mute, not stupid." Said Heero. Wow. A miracle! Heero Yuy said more that three words!!!  
  
"He isn't really mute. He just won't talk." Duo pointed.  
  
"Hn." Heero replied.  
  
"Well, any progress?" Relena repeated. Duo sighed a little.  
  
"Kinda…he seems more… … … I dunno, there?" he ventured. Another honey- sweet smile was shot in Wufei's direction.  
  
"Good. Wu-fei-you-are-happy-with-friends-yes?" Relena asked. She smiled again and went back to eating her chicken. Wufei went white. All the color drained from his caramel skin.  
  
"Is-something-the-matter-Wu-fei?" She asked in her pigeon English. She put a mouthful of soft white meat in her mouth. Wufei got up from the table with a start and walked quickly to the apparent safety of his room.  
  
"'Scuse me." Duo wiped his mouth with his shirtsleeve and followed him. Relena's eyes followed Duo as he exited. I sighed and looked down at my salad. I wasn't so hungry anymore. And I missed Trowa. He would understand how I felt. Of course I wouldn't feel this way at all if he were here. Wufei wouldn't be insane, well, insane isn't the best word for him, disturbed and unstable yes, but insane? No. Duo wouldn't worry near as much, he never leaves the house now, he's afraid that something else will happen to one of us. I wouldn't feel so raw and edgy, Relena wouldn't come here near as much, and Heero wouldn't be more… … well I don't want to say emotional, because he's not. But his expressions do vary to more than anger and pure insanity. I guess that's the only good thing that has come from Trowa's disappearance. I refuse to believe that he's dead. Not until I have proof. He had to have left for some reason or another. Damn you Trowa, why'd you leave? I hate you.  
  
"Fuck you." I hissed between my teeth. Very uncharacteristic of me, I know. The irony is that Relena had just finished saying something as I uttered it. Heero burst out laughing. Relena looked at me startled, I didn't really care at the time. I wasn't paying attention. I was carrying on a silent one-sided argument with Trowa. Apparently, she had gotten offended and left. I hadn't noticed until I was done venting inside the confines of my own brain. I looked up at Heero, he was shaking his head with a slightly amused look on his face. He saw my confused expression and laughed again. How many of Duo's Heinekens had he had?!  
  
"What?" I asked a little flustered.  
  
"You of all people." I suddenly remembered all that had gone on. Oh, that's why he was laughing. I sighed and gathered the dishes to wash them. Heero certainly wasn't about to do it, and Wufei well… he had a good excuse, we don't trust Duo with anything that can be fashioned into something sharp and pointy anymore because he tried to slit his own throat with a letter opener a short time ago (and as we had later found, he had been cutting himself). So, I'm the dishes boy. I sighed and filled the sink with warm, soapy, water from the faucet. I hummed softly as I cleaned off the plates and put them in the sink. Humming always makes me feel better. Just as the tension was about to leave for the night, Heero came in and had to bring it all back. He leaned against the counter and stared at me. When I first met him, I was really unnerved by his habit of him fixing his gaze on a person and not letting up, like how an alligator holds its prey in its jaws until death, Heero holds his prey in his eyes.  
  
"Has Wufei… comeback yet? He never finished his Lo mein." I said at last.  
  
"Hn." Heero replied. I was getting tired of him grunting at all of us like that. Did he think we spoke Cro-Magnon or something? I felt a strange heat rise in my chest; my nerves were coiled like a krait, the Indian desert snake. Ready to strike.  
  
"I asked you a question in English, I would appreciate it if you responded with an answer in the same language." I said as I felt my throat tighten. I felt his eyes travel from my spine to the back of my head. Why is he always looking at me like that?!? He gave a little laugh.  
  
"Do you really think I care if Wufei eats or not?" He asked in a low voice. I wanted desperately to turn around and shout at him, but I continued my chore.  
  
"You know he hardly ever eats as it is. Do you want him to die?" I asked hotly as my anger churned in the soapy water. There was a reply of silence. That's it. I had had enough. I spun around. Instead of being several feet away like he was before, he was right in my face. I masked my surprise with an angry look.  
  
"Do you?!?" I shouted in his emotionless face. That is not me talking. The voice didn't even sound like mine. I never get angry. I'm always patient. Heero smiled a little bit.  
  
"I've killed thousands. Do you think I would?" I felt myself get angrier as the silence stretched between us.  
  
"He fought along side you for how long now? He's even saved us a few times, he's our friend. And you have the nerve to say that you don't care?!?" I demanded loudly. Heero just stared.  
  
"Answer me!!" I yelled as loud as I could. I threw the dish I had been clenching in my hand to the tiled floor. It broke into a thousand itty- bitty pieces. Like me. I've been broken so many times, I don't even know who I am anymore. Heero hardly blinked.  
  
"Soldiers don't have any friends." He said flatly.  
  
"The war is over Heero, we don't have to fight! Why don't you stop trying to be the Perfect Soldier and start trying to be the Perfect Human for a change?! People need you! We're falling apart! Don't you understand?! Don't you get it?! Duo almost killed himself a month ago!"  
  
"So?" My hand suddenly curled into a fist and struck him in his cheekbone as hard as it could. It wasn't my fault. It really wasn't. Heero was caught completely off guard, his eyes widened as he wiped the mixture of suds and blood from his mouth. He suddenly lurched fore ward. Our noses were touching. Allah, he was going to kill me! I narrowed my eyes.  
  
//Go right ahead.// I dared silently.  
  
"Do you feel better now?" He demanded.  
  
"Wha-?"  
  
"Do you feel better now that you've vented on someone?" He had been… provoking me? I somehow didn't believe it. He had provoked me into hitting him so he could have an excuse to kill me! Of all the low and dirty-!  
  
I was suddenly aware that he was kissing me. He pulled back.  
  
"You're funny when you're angry, you know that?" He kissed me again. Allah, didn't he watch any dramas? The plot wasn't supposed to go this way… not that I'm complaining mind you. Even though neither of us had any idea what we were doing, it was still nice. He leaned both of us against the sink. I felt the spot between my shoulders that had been tensed for so long slowly relax. Heero felt it too. He pressed my face into his big, soft, sweater.  
  
"You have a good right hook for someone who says they're a pacifist." He said into my hair. I rested my forehead against the crook of his neck.  
  
"Guess I don't know my own strength." I muttered. We started kissing again, this time I think I started it. I could feel my face start to burn. I have dishes to do don't I? And what if some one finds us? What would they say? Half of my brain wondered franticly.  
  
Screw them all! The other half shouted. Okay, maybe not in those exact words, but something along the lines of that. I never did finish the dishes now that I think of it… … … 


	3. Sacrifice

A/N: // 'thought speaking'//  
  
  
  
Chapter Two:  
  
Sacrifice  
  
In my mind he's always been Duo. Just like Yuy is Heero, Winner is Quatre, and Barton was Trowa. But Duo has always been Duo. Nothing else. To him, I'm Wuffers, Fei, Wu-man, Wuffie, Wu, and dozens of other nicknames I don't take the time to remember.  
  
"Hey Wu, you 'bout to turn in?" He asked. I nod as I turn down the sheets.  
  
"'Kay. I've got a bit of work to do, but I'll be quiet." Since his 'accident' he's moved out of Heero's room and into mine. I'm not sure why. Maybe he reasoned that two psycho's should room together. We get along well I guess. Just not when he plays his music too loud. I wrap the sheets around myself and let my eyes drift shut. I'm haunted with terrible nightmares.  
  
When I wake again it was dark in our room and it looked to be about somewhere around midnight. I gazed at the ceiling, waiting patiently to go to sleep. My gaze was averted to the other side of the room by a soft whimper. Duo was dreaming again. I stood up and walked over to his side. (Stepping around all the things he leaves on the floor as I go.) He is lying twisted at an odd angle and is sweating ever so slightly. His fingers fumble at the cross around his neck. He breathes in short sudden gasps, like there is not enough air for him.  
  
I've known for a long time that he's frightened of enclosed spaces. Ever since I was trapped in that cell with him. He hasn't exactly told me just why yet, but he promises that he will one day. I kneel at his bedside and shake his shoulder lightly. Two dark eyes that are colored like clouds lit up by heat lightening snap open and out of impulse he grabs my shoulders. I must have made some sort of noise because he let go almost immediately.  
  
"Oh, Wu." He gasps. "Sorry." Wu. That's his favorite one for me right now I think.  
  
//What could be the matter with you?// I wonder as I push his bangs from his forehead. I remember someone (maybe even my mother) doing this when I was a child and I was frightened. He grins at me.  
  
"Eh, don't worry about me, I was just having a nightmare." He explains. I perch myself on the edge of his bed and crossed my arms.  
  
//I'm not going until you tell me what's the matter with you and that's a promise.// I insisted silently as I stuck my lower lip out. His grin spread wider.  
  
"Oh my, but aren't we determined." He states. "Alright, I'll tell you. Get comfortable." He instructs. I sit Indian style and prop my chin in my cupped hands, like a small child getting ready to hear story time at their preschool. I gaze at him expectantly.  
  
"Okay, you know that I grew up in a church, right?" I nod where I am needed to. "I was about five I think when it happened… …" he gets a faraway look in his eyes.  
  
//When what happened?// I leaned forward. The two impenetrable depths of liquid amethyst slowly drift shut. "I was playing in the graveyard behind the church, I was about the only kid who actually liked to play in there, I remember that I was pretending I was a ghost, I did things like that often… anyway, there was this coffin resting out there, there was going to be a funeral in a day and the family wanted the coffin to rest outside for some reason or another."  
  
"I wasn't really that well liked amongst a group of kids that were there, big tough boys they were, I think that they were each about seven or eight. While I was playing, they snuck up behind me and jumped me. One grabbing each arm and leg, then they hauled me into the coffin and shut the door. One of them was nice enough to put a wood chip between the door and the lip of the coffin so I could breathe." Here he stopped and smirked. "Pretty fitting huh? Death being locked into a coffin with one of his minions." He heaved a deep sigh and continued his story. " I was in there for the longest time, I spent the first few minutes shouting for someone, but no one came and the door was marble, too heavy for me to lift, I didn't have very much room to move with that body in there anyway, so I couldn't have gotten out if I had tried. Then …" He choked slightly here and squeezed his eyes shut tight. "I hear this God-awful noise, there was all this screaming and shouting I smelled smoke and heard loud explosions. I felt myself sail through the air and the coffin hits the ground nose first. The body and I go sailing out and it lands on top of me. It was a man, he was in his early twenties, he died real young… …" His voice broke and he stayed silent for a long time it seemed like, save his slightly heavy breathing.  
  
"I waited until it was all over, until the bad things left. Then I rolled the body off of me and the church was completely destroyed, I searched and searched for survivors but the only thing I found was the dead, I cried for all of them. Hell, I even cried for the kids who jumped me…"His eyes opened here. They were shining bright with tears, his eyes looked like bruises, they were so dark and sensitive and sore looking.  
  
"I swore from that day on that I'd never cry again." He whispered in his slightly husky voice. When he tried to cut his throat, he did something that damaged his vocal cords and it's made his voice sound different, lower and just a bit gravely. Not a lot, just enough to be able to notice the gravelyness. The doctors were surprised that Duo could still talk, but I knew, unlike the weak, he could not be forced into silence. For I am weak so I am silent.  
  
"It was even worse when I found Sister Helen. I didn't get to say much of a goodbye; she was already pretty much gone. Missing an arm too. But with her good arm she gave me her crucifix. Not the gold one I wear mind you, it's a Celtic sliver cross and it has a stone of opal in it. Now that I think of it, I really should wear that one instead huh?" he asked smiling weakly. I shrugged elaborately.  
  
//Whatever your heart tells you to do.// I brush his bangs from his face again. It troubled me to picture a little Duo locked in a coffin with that dead body. I felt the corners of my mouth turn down in a scowl. He rested his hand on mine.  
  
"Don't worry Wu, the nightmares are no where near as bad." He said quietly. Something told me from the look in his eyes that they were worse, probably even worse than mine. I still fight the urge to vomit when I think of Trowa………  
  
Duo sits up.  
  
"You all right Wu?" he asks. I slowly shake my head reluctant to admit that; no, Wu was not 'all right'.  
  
"You-you wanna stay with me then?" I nod and curl up beside him. I give my silent thanks and gaze up at the ceiling. He is sleeping quietly within moments. It's odd to think that we're friends. During the war we weren't ever even civil towards each other. We're the Yin and the Yang, water and fire, life and death; one cannot be with out the other because the balance of life itself would be thrown off. Without me, Duo would have killed himself and without him, I would have on one to 'talk' to.  
  
//You always have me you know.// a single emerald eye materializes. Though I can't see the rest of him, I know he's there, in the shadows.  
  
//Trowa, I'm trying to go to sleep.// I sigh. I see a little smile on his face.  
  
//Really? You looked wide awake to me.// I roll my eyes. //What did you and Duo talk about?// Trowa asks as he sits in a chair.  
  
//I would think that he'd prefer to keep that a secret.// I reply.  
  
//Yes, well it's always nice to have someone you can tell your secrets.// Trowa says pointedly.  
  
//I know what you're getting at, Trowa.// I said. Trowa gazes at me coolly.  
  
//Why won't you ever tell?// he looks frustrated, his slightly transparent cheeks have taken on a reddish glow.//And how long do you think it will be until another victim is chosen huh?// he demands. I sigh.  
  
//No one poses a threat right now, why would another victim need to be chosen?// I pointed out. The gem-like eye rolled heaven ward.  
  
//You don't know that. I know who poses a threat now.// Trowa said. I sit up.  
  
//Who?// Trowa sighs deeply.  
  
//It could be anyone of you. It could be you even.// He says.  
  
//Well, is it me?// I demanded.  
  
//It could be Quatre.// Trowa continues, ignoring my comment. He'd been half in love with the blond Arab since day one. His eye rests upon the boy sleeping quietly next to me.  
  
//It could even be Duo.// I scowled.  
  
//Then I'll do what I can to protect all of them.// I said firmly. Trowa shakes his head and smiles a little.  
  
//You're really stubborn, you know that Chang Wufei?// he asks with a small chuckle. I shut my eyes.  
  
//Yes, I know.// I said quietly. //Sometimes I wish I were different.// I could *hear* Trowa raise an eyebrow.  
  
//Different? Like how?// he asks. I roll over to get a better look at Duo.  
  
//More careless, free, happier, that sort of thing.// Trowa smiles.  
  
//I see.// I roll over again to ask what he meant but he was fading away into the molten sliver moonlight.  
  
//I'll be seeing you again sometime soon?// I ask. The fading image nods, his voice echoing around me.  
  
//Take care of everyone Wufei. Promise me that you'll tell them what you've seen before it's too late.// as the last of him disappears, I look over at Duo.  
  
"I promise." I whisper aloud. Duo stirs.  
  
"Fei?" I sit up to let him know I'm here. His eyes open slightly. "Who were ya talking to?" I smile in the darkness and squeeze his shoulder.  
  
//No one, Duo. No one.// I let my eyes drift shut, as I'm drifting off I sing a few bars of a song that I keep hearing on the radio.  
  
//'Cuz when you are with me,  
  
I'm free  
  
I'm careless,  
  
I believe.  
  
Above your love,  
  
We'll fly,  
  
This brings tears to my eyes.  
  
My sacrifice.//  
  
I finally go to sleep. When I wake up I take stock of my surroundings, once I figure out where I am, I realize that that was the first time I had slept without a single nightmare. Duo, who is still asleep, smiles in his dreams. His hair is in a messy braid and a few strands of it have fallen in his closed eyes. The rising sun was shining on his face and tinting it a strange, ethereal, golden rose color and making the vertical scar on this throat look pinker than usual. He looked like an angel from an Earth era painting. The Renaissance, I think it's called.  
  
//Don't worry.// I promise silently. //By Nataku, I'll sacrifice anything to protect you. All of you.// 


	4. This Thing Called Human

Disclaimer: I've run out of clever ways to say I don't own this….  
  
Grinning Reaper: Hi! Just a quick note before we start…sorry it took me so long to post…I was having technical difficulties… okay, here ya go! And please r&r…  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Three:  
  
This Thing Called Human  
  
  
  
My eyes open slowly to an unfamiliar ceiling. The Guest Room, the Guest Room that used to be a basement? Why was I here? I hear a small noise and I look down. Quatre. He is lying with his hand on my stomach and his ear over my heart. I'm aware that it's morning. Barely sunrise. Why do I feel this strange with him? I'm a Perfect Soldier! I'm not supposed to feel! I remember what Quatre had screamed at me when I told him something like that. He said that I should give being human a chance. I also remembered he hit me pretty hard. I allow myself a small smile as my hand leaves his back to touch my jaw. It was sore. Most likely bruised too. I then remember everything else that had happened: I had kissed him. There were more kisses after that as we half stumbled half walked in to this very room. (We were more concerned with getting our clothes off than bumping into things; I think we might have actually broken a vase.) I'm still not quite sure how we made it down the stairs. But that's as far as I'll go for now.  
  
What baffles me is that I enjoy his company much more than I do Relena's. But they're so much alike. They're both passive, they both are blonde (Quatre's hair is lighter though. A shade rarely seen on anyone over the age of three. Fairytale blonde…someone…used to call it) both of them have blue eyes. (Though Quatre's have a strange shade of turquoise to them and when he wears certain clothing, they can look more green or blue or even sometimes grey. I've not been looking at him much I just notice detail. Really.) But in a strange explicable way there is a mile of difference between them.  
  
He's very affectionate, which will take time for me to get used to. His eyes flicker and his lips start to move. He's waking up. His eyelids come up halfway.  
  
"Is it morning yet, Heero?" He asked as he rubbed his eye with a fist.  
  
"Is the sun rising?" I ask smirking. He stifles a little yawn.  
  
"Dun wanna open my eyes. 'M sleepy…" he replies and buries his face in the crook of my neck and shoulder. I let my thumb rub his cheek for a few moments. His eyes open all the way after a short time. He blinks several times in succession. His eyelashes are long and they tickle my neck. I feel a tugging sensation at the corners of my mouth.  
  
"It's almost time for the others to get up isn't it Heero?" Quatre asks. I thought for a moment. My internal clock was telling me that it was about seven-ten in the morning. It's rare that Duo gets up before nine and Wufei doesn't like to be alone so we most likely had a few hours to kill.  
  
"Not quite yet." I reply.  
  
"Oh." Quatre says quietly. I gaze heavenward. What was Quatre doing here with me anyways? He was too…nice to be with me. It seemed odd.  
  
//Don't question it.// A voice in the back of my mind says. For once I pay attention to the voice and stop thinking. We're both quiet for quite a long time, then, Quatre (being a morning person) decides to make breakfast, so we shower, dress, and go into the kitchen. He pads over to the stove and begins to make chocolate chip pancakes. Cooking sweet things is his specialty, according to Trowa.  
  
"Think I should try to make them into animal shapes or not?" Quatre asks looking over his shoulder. He's wearing pristine white pajamas that look to be several sizes too big for him. Again, I notice detail. I shrug.  
  
"Hn." He smiles.  
  
"I think that's a marvelous idea!" He gets out the gingerbread man cookie cutter that he bought last Christmas. "I'll make them shaped like little people." He says as he beings to stir the batter, poking his tongue out of the side of his mouth as he does so. "It's awfully thick." He mutters. I walk up behind him, put my hands over his and stir with him. "Oh, so you're gonna be my helper huh?" I nod. We stir the batter for a little while and I kiss his neck a few times, his skin tastes like peaches. He poured a few spoonfuls of batter into the pan. He stands patiently with a spatula in his hand and waited for the pancakes to cook. I wrap my arms around his waist. (I've never noticed how tiny he is until now.)  
  
"I just noticed that someone washed the dishes and put away the shards of glass from the plate I broke." He said leaning his head against my shoulder. I had a more than perfect view of his neck. Would he stop showing me his neck like that?!? He has no idea how perfect and smooth and pale his skin looks.  
  
"Hn," I said thoughtfully. "Must have been Duo." I couldn't help it. I started sucking on the soft skin of his exposed shoulder. He squirmed a little.  
  
"Your pancakes are gonna burn if you don't do something about them." I said after a little while.  
  
"O-oh, right." Quatre flipped the pancakes and before too long had a small pile of them on a platter.  
  
"You're not hungry?" he asked. I shook my head. I usually don't eat breakfast I might later though. I've never had pancakes before. It wasn't long before I was kissing his mouth again. Wasn't this how it started in the first place? In the kitchen?  
  
"I smell pancakes!" A voice cried as someone bounded down the stairs. Damn you, Duo. Out of instinct, we both jump at least five feet apart, and not a moment too soon because Shingami was soon in the kitchen (with Wufei who was standing in the doorway) and helping himself to a mountain of pancakes on a plate. Even Wufei had a couple.  
  
"Did you guys sleep well?" Duo asked. Quatre was lucky he was turned around; he was so red it was a wonder that his hair hadn't caught on fire.  
  
"Yeah," he said, "what about you guys?"  
  
"You know I did. I sleep like a corpse." Duo said grinning. He always acts like he's so happy. Sometimes it feels like nothing ever happened to him or Wufei or any of us. Like Trowa is upstairs getting dressed and he'll be down any minute. It's not true though. Duo had said once that he acted so happy so he wouldn't make anyone else sad. Which doesn't make sense altogether, but in a way it does.  
  
"These're real good Quat!" Duo helps himself to another five or so. Wufei silently stands and puts his dishes in the sink.  
  
"You don't want any more Fei?" Duo asks curiously. Wufei shakes his head and returns to the table. Quatre turns slightly and eyes me.  
  
"What about you Heero?" I shrug and put a few on my plate. Quatre smiles and goes back to cooking. I grab his wrist and sit him down at the table.  
  
"You need to eat too." I said and gave him a plate.  
  
"I…" he began.  
  
"No excuses." I said glaring. Quatre smiled and took a bite.  
  
"Mm-mm."  
  
"Put syrup on yours Heero, it tastes better." Duo advised.  
  
"That's too sweet for my liking." Quatre wrinkled his little nose and poured himself some tea. I cut off a piece of the humanoid-shaped breakfast food and put it in my mouth. Not too bad. I drink some of my milk. Wufei begins to play with the salt and peppershakers, from the looks of things he's making them fight. The pepper is winning.  
  
"You have a milk mustache Heero. Here." Quatre hands me a napkin. Duo smirks.  
  
"I dunno, I think he should keep it. After all, he'll never have any real facial hair." He says rubbing his own stubbly chin. I smirk.  
  
"Shut up Duo." He falls off his chair in mock disbelief.  
  
"God in Heaven Above!" he gasped. "He speaks!"  
  
"You don't believe in God, remember?" I remind him. He sits up.  
  
"Oh yeah." Quatre laughs and Wufei makes the salt 'kick' the pepper, continuing to have his little seasoning war, completely lost in his own strange little world.  
  
"Idiot." I steal one of Duo's syrup soaked pancakes. You know, maybe there is something to this thing called human after all.  
  
  
  
Grinning Reaper: ACK!!! Noooooo! I didn't mean to make that fluffy and sappy!!! Can you all forgive me!!!?????  
  
Sorrow: No! BUUUUUUUUUURN!!!!!  
  
Wufei: Salt and peppershakers?  
  
Grinning Reaper: You're a psycho all right?!? You do weird things!!!  
  
Heero: Why did you make me all…girly…?  
  
Grinning Reaper: It was the pancakes!!! My mom made chocolate chip pancakes!!! Never try to write angst on a stomach full of pancakes!!!  
  
Duo: Well the rest of the story's all depressing so you need a funny chapter… Grinning Reaper: I didn't intend to have a happy chapter!!! ::beats herself over the head until she's unconscious::  
  
Quatre: Uhh… Reaper-chan? Uh-oh…  
  
Trowa: She'll wake up…eventually… 


	5. Held

Legal crap: Uhm, this is chapter four and you've just now realized that I don't own them??  
  
Grinning Reaper: Hi! Sorry that this chapter took so long to come out! I've just not been depressed for a really long time, which I guess is a good thing.I'm not really cutting any more.this is another angsty chapter! Sorrow: Yay! Angst muse work again! BUUUUURRRRNN! Wufei: As a minor side note, yes Nukume Dori, Reaper-chan thinks that I would make a very kawaii teddy bear. ::sigh:: Duo: This is my chapter!!! ^,^ Heero: . Quatre: It's a nice one if you ask me. Grinning Reaper: So, with all that aside, let us start ne?  
  
  
  
Chapter four: Held  
  
  
  
"Where the hell is my razor?" I muttered to myself as I rummaged trough my drawers. I'm willing to bet anything that Quatre hid them. Again. I can hear him now.  
  
'I just want to make sure that you don't hurt yourself Duo.' Don't get me wrong. I love the little guy and all but sometimes I want to smack him silly. I mean, it's not as if I want to kill myself any more. I mean sure, sometimes I think about it still, but hey, it's not exactly something that is quit so easily right? I'm not going to start up again. That's for sure. I'd be sent to a clinic for real this time. And by no means is Wufei crying and clinging on to me changing Quatre's mind this time. (Yes, that really did happen. It nearly scared the hell out of all of us. Except Heero, he just kind of stood there blinking. It never occurred to me that someone as strong and confident as him would be capable of crying.)  
  
As I tore apart my room for my razor, more thoughts swarmed into my head. Now that I think of it, Quatre's been so.tense lately. And he seems so tired. I look at him sometimes and it looks like he's about to snap. Just like one of the strings on his violin did one time. He told us it was because he was putting too much pressure on it. Are we putting too much pressure on you Quatre? Is that what you're trying to say? He and Heero got in a fight a few nights ago too. I heard them shouting downstairs. Then there was breaking glass, silence, followed by more breaking glass, scuffling noises and more silence. The silence was even scarier than the noise. In the hours that stretched by, I crept down the stairs expecting to find one of them lying in the floor dead. But all I found was a broken dish and a broken vase of flowers in the hallway. They were Forget-Me-Nots. Quatre insists on keeping a vase of them in the house at all times because they were Trowa's favorite. That and the name means 'don't forget me' and all that sentimental shit. I've never been one to understand that. I won't pretend that I didn't see the small bruise on Heero's face at breakfast either. And Quatre was kind of limping too. So there had been a fight of some kind I guess. Either way, they seemed fine at the table and it's really not my business to ask.  
  
I sighed and shoved a drawer shut.  
  
"I'm tired of being treated like a fucking mental patient!" I all but shouted as I knocked my head gently against the back wall. I sighed and stared down at my forearms littered with pink and silver marks of anger. "Duo, in case you haven't figured it out, you *are* a fucking mental patient." I grumbled sourly. With all the ideas of shaving thrown out the window, I climbed to my feet and walked downstairs. I was hungry and it was about lunchtime. I almost reached the kitchen but a voice from the living room stopped me.  
  
"I'm just (yawn) tired, I don't know why. I've been getting enough sleep." I recognized the voice as Quatre's. It was thick and heavy with fatigue.  
  
"Hn. Sleep more then." Heero replied in an almost mechanic voice. Note the 'almost mechanic' part, he wasn't as monotonous as he usually sounded.  
  
"It's almost time for me to-" the rest of whatever Quatre was going to object with was engulfed in painstaking silence, his voice died as abruptly as the shouting did last night. The only noise that hinted that they were still there was a sigh. Now, I know it's not nice to eavesdrop, but I really couldn't help it. I didn't want to move because they might hear me, and I really wanted to find out what's been going on these past few days.  
  
"Sleep." Heero's stern voice reached my ears once more. "That's an order." If we weren't in peace times, I would swear that I was listening to him over the com-link during a mission. Quatre sighed again.  
  
"Fine." He murmured quietly. "You win." Heero gave a satisfied 'hn' as Quatre shifted around to get comfortable. It was after the noise died down that I decided to kneel on the floor and hazard a peek. What I saw almost made me scream, gasp and laugh at the same time. But I didn't dare to make a noise. If Heero knew I was witnessing this, he's surely fulfill all the threats he's made to me over the years. They were cuddling. Okay, so not exactly. They were both lying on the couch, well, actually, Heero was. Quatre was more lying on Heero than the sofa. Quatre's hips lay between Heero's legs and his little hand was clasping the long sleeve of Heero's oversized, bottle green shirt. The Perfect Soldier himself was staring at the ceiling, blank and expressionless as always. Ever so often he would ruffle with Quatre's hair. As I yanked my head back around the doorframe I realized something. I was hallucinating. This was about as likely as Wufei suddenly breaking into song and dance. But in a twisted, warped since, they were a cute couple. I know, I know. If Heero would end up with anyone right now, everyone would think that it's Relena. Well, Quatre's sort of like Relena. Sort of. Actually, now that I think of it, there's a big difference between them. I mean, sure, they're both passive and kind and sensitive and caring people. And both of them are attentive to other's emotions and hurt when someone they care for is sad. But there's a difference that puts them in separate classes.  
  
Quatre is not demanding. He offers all his care and love with out even expecting it to be reciprocated. And he always puts others happiness before his own. I grin and peek at them again. Quatre might actually be a good thing for Heero. Shingami knows that he's been on that laptop less, still spends entirely too much time with it, but not as much as he used to. I climbed silently to my feet and tiptoed as lightly as I could into the kitchen. I was hungry and decided to get a snack. Once in the kitchen, I opened the refrigerator door. There wasn't really much to choose from. There was however, some left over lo mein. I took that out of the fridge and warmed it up. Wufei must have heard me because he came into the kitchen to investigate.  
  
"Hey Wu." I said as brightly as I could manage. Wufei smiled ever so slightly and sat down in a chair near me. "You hungry?" I asked gesturing to the lo mein. Wufei looked at the lo mein for a moment before shrugging. "C'mon," I coaxed, holding the fork up to his face, "take a bite, it's good." Wufei regarded me with a cool sloe-eyed stare that clearly said: 'You expect me, the great Chang Wufei to allow being spoon-fed?'  
  
"Just take a bite, you need some food in your system." Wufei stared for a long moment before finally leaning forward and closing his mouth around the fork. He sat back and chewed, a pensive look on his face, as if he was thinking of something very serious.  
  
"What's the matter?" I asked. He shrugged and looked out the window, up at the sky. I followed his soulful gaze. The sky was the color of sorrow: a cold metal gray with a sickly yellow tinge to it. It reminded me of the skin of an aged corpse. And believe me, I've seen a lot of those. Distant thunder rumbled and Wufei suppressed a shudder. Now I remember why Wufei doesn't like this weather. It was on a day exactly like this that we had found him.broken like this.  
  
Wufei gently tugged on my braid, bringing me out of my dream-like state. He was looking at me expectantly.  
  
"What?" I asked. He just blinked at me. "You want me to sing or something?" I asked. Wufei (still holding onto my braid) nodded. This was a regular occurrence. He, for whatever his reasons, likes to hear me sing. I probably sing for him at least every other day. "Okay." I said shrugging. (Mini disclaimer: I don't own Fuel, but this seemed like a really cool song that Duo would sing so.yeah.)  
  
"Satan, you know where I lie, Gently, I go into that good night. All our lives get complicated, Search for pleasure's overrated.  
  
Never were we told What the future would hold, When we were innocent.  
  
Angels, lend me your might. This far down that line and still ain't got it right. All those color long since faded, All our smiles were confiscated.  
  
Never were we told We'd be bought and sold, When we were innocent."  
  
I watched Wufei while I sang, he was sitting very quietly, his eyes half open, he was weaving my braid in and out of his fingers. Thunder clapped loudly and the swollen bellies of the clouds split open and it began to rain. At the sound of the sonically loud thunder, Wufei jumped and twined an arm around my shoulders, the other hand still clenching my braid.  
  
"Hey, calm down Wu, it's just thunder." I spoke quietly, trying to calm him down. Wufei shook his head, a few of the raven-winged strands drifted into his eyes. (He never puts his hair in a ponytail any more.) "It won't hurt you." I said softly. Thunder rumbled again, louder and right over our heads this time, as if it was objecting to what I was saying. "Nothing will hurt you. I'll make sure of that." Another crash came from the metal colored sky. I glared heavenward. "Nothing." I repeated stubbornly, trying to disprove the booming overhead. Wufei rested his head on my shoulder and sighed. That seemed to calm him down a little. We stayed like this for what must have been five minutes, listening to the thunder shouting at us and the rain angrily assault the glass windows, as if it was trying to get in. A bright flash of lightening lit up the sky. A loud and insistent knock on the door caused us both to jump. I reluctantly let go and walked over to the door. What lunatic would be out in this weather??  
  
"Duo, hello! How are you feeling?" Relena. Well if that doesn't explain everything. She smiled sweetly at me. I glanced at Wufei. He was sitting up ramrod straight. I've never seen him look like that. He was so white and his eyes took up almost half of his head. He looked haunted. That's the best way I can describe him. Absolutely haunted by something.  
  
"I'm fine, thanks for asking." I replied as I gazed down at her. Her eyes were locked on my throat. On the evidance that I tried to take my life, my scar. They always are. I'm not sure if she's aware that she stares all the time. I think the fact that I'm a suicidal maniac kind of scares her. I was tempted to go 'Hey Relena look! A butter knife!!' Pick up the knife that was lying on the table and stab myself silly with it. But that would make a mess and Quatre just mopped the kitchen from where Wufei threw up yesterday. Relena sidestepped around me politely and smiled.  
  
"I'm here to see Quatre. He was acting a bit odd last week and I wanted to make sure that he was feeling all right. I brought pound cake." She added, lifting the Tupperware container that I hadn't even noticed.  
  
"I'll go get them-uh him." I said. I don't think that Relena would like it too much if she saw Quatre and her precious Heero snuggling. I abruptly left the kitchen and walked into the dining room. "Quatre!!" I hollered. "You have a guest!" Relena entered as well.  
  
"Coming." A sleepy voice called back. Quatre followed the voice and appeared in the doorframe. His hair was rumpled and his eyes were half open.  
  
"Oh, were you sleeping? I'm sorry, I can come back later." Relena said hastily. Quatre smiled in a tired fashion and waved his hand.  
  
"No that's alright. I needed to wake up and get to work anyway." I left the two of them in the dining room to talk. I still had my lo mein to finish after all. When I walked into the kitchen, I elicited a strangled cry of shock. Wufei was on the floor, curled up in a ball, shaking. I knew that I shouldn't have left them alone. I walked quickly over to him and scooped him up.  
  
"Hey Wu, it's okay. Sh..." I rubbed his shoulder and tried to calm him down. He sniffled and buried his face in my shoulder, shaking his head. "Let's take a nap huh?" I asked. He nodded and I led him up stairs. As he was drifting off, I brushed some of the hair from his face.  
  
"She won't hurt you, you know. " I said quietly. Thunder rumbled again.  
  
  
  
Grinning Reaper: Don'tcha just *love* foreshadowing??  
  
Wufei: Foreshadowing?? ::gulp::  
  
Grinning Reaper: Minor notes: Okay, in case you haven't figured it out: Wufei and Duo are going to end up boinking each other's brains out, Quatre is suffering from stress, Heero is...well...you'll see, Wufei's not saying a lot and his fear of Relena is not what it appears to be (think long and hard about that one and what's been said between him and Trowa, anyone who guesses right gets the Shinibaka seal of approval) and nobody knows what happened to Trowa. The ending shall be suspenseful and surprising. That and someone's gonna DIE!!  
  
Quatre: Can't we all just get along? ::sniff::  
  
Sorrow: BUUUUUUUUUURRNN!  
  
Heero:...  
  
Grinning Reaper: oh, mini advertisements: Read SUGAR HIGH if you like 2x5 and Stellar if you like 3x4... I figured that since Trowa isn't around, I'd give his fans a few little fun things to read... ^,^ Oh, a recommendation: If you like fics with Duo as the 'protector' type, read 'Meet me Half Way' ::sniff:: I love that fic...so, as this masterpiece draws to a close...  
  
Wufei: ONNA! POST THE NEXT PART ALREADY!!! KISAMA!   
  
P.S: I might take a brake from 2x5 and actually write... ::gasp!:: a 1x2! What do ya think o' that? 


	6. Accidents happen

Grinning Reaper: Oh, and Just as a little note, after I finish doing all the POVs I kinda do this 'flash-back' thingy.which is what this is.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Five: Accidents Happen  
  
  
  
Bright and inquisitive violet eyes studied the object clasped in a long- fingered hand. A razor. Duo Maxwell lifted it up to the light, watching it glint off the metal as he admired its unique shape.  
  
Slash.  
  
Red.  
  
He felt pain. White hot, burning pain that seethed out of his cut arm in the form of liquid rubies and pooled itself in a wanton manner on the marble counter top of the bathroom sink. He cocked his head in a curious manner. It didn't hurt as much as he though it would...he must not have cut very deep this time... He brushed his fingers reflectively over the many scars that criss-crossed his arms. There were some on his legs and stomach too, but those were easier to hide. He had to be careful not to cut too close to his wrist or if he did to wear shirts that had longer sleeves or that buttoned around his wrist so they wouldn't ride up. He was pretty sure that Heero had seen a few of the scars yesterday.  
  
Thoughtfully, Duo raised his arm to his mouth and began to suck on the fresh wound, rolling the blood over his tongue. What a unique taste it had! At first it tasted sweet like sugar, then, as he swallowed, it tasted like pennies. (He only knew what pennies tasted like because he had accidentally swallowed one as a child. Boy, was that unpleasant.)  
  
Then he suddenly realized something. Pain wasn't enough anymore. He wanted more than that. He was Death, so why not embrace the fact? He wasn't afraid to die, in fact, he actually welcomed the thought of a nice long rest. The more he thought about it, the more sense it seemingly made. He stood with a new sense of purpose and walked into his room, picking up the first shiny sharp thing he saw on his desk...  
  
"I'm home!" Quatre chirped merrily as he set down the small brown paper packages that contained that night's dinner. He had noticed that his fellow pilots all seemed to be depressed so he decided to make a good meal to cheer them up. He heard the quiet, irregular pattern of tapping of keys coming from the living room. He smiled faintly. Would Heero ever rest? Quatre busied himself with putting the food away. He was making spaghetti. He remembered Duo saying spaghetti was one of his favorites, but then again, what didn't the braided ball of energy like? Rubbing a sore spot on his shoulder, Quatre set to making himself some tea. Hearing the noise, Wufei crept with all the silence and grace of a jungle cat into the kitchen.  
  
"Hello, Wufei." Quatre greeted his fellow pilot with a friendly gesture to sit. The Chinese youth complied and sat in a flowing, languid motion. Wufei gave Quatre his own silent salutation and rested an elegant face in a graceful up-turned palm. Quatre suddenly felt a wave of some unidentified feeling over take him. He felt urgent, he felt a sort of crackling energy gathering, slowly gaining power as he tried to pinpoint why he felt this way, the feeling was much like the feeling one gets before an impending storm. One thing was certain: something was misplaced. Wufei noticed the little blonde Arab's furrowed brows and intensely focused face. He shook the boy's shoulder and tilted his head. Wordlessly asking what was the matter. Quatre's mouth turned down at the corners.  
  
"Wufei?" he began in his melodic voice, "Where's Duo?" Wufei shrugged nonchalantly and gazed in the direction of the stairs. So the braided boy was up in his room then. Quatre got shakily to his feet as the feeling of the impending storm grew. He walked to the foot of the stairs, a single, doll like hand resting atop the banister.  
  
"Duo?" He called peering up at the closed white door of the God of Death's room. He called again, a bit louder this time and with the hesitant sound of worry creeping into the corners of his voice. "Could you come down here?" there was a mocking reply of silence. Quatre felt the quiet was laughing at him.  
  
//You're too late. He's mine now.// she whispered between raspy chuckles. Quatre raced up the stairs, he grasped the brass door handle, not bothering to knock. He wretched it open in a desperate manner. It's all okay. It's fine. Everything's normal. Thoughts like these raced through him mind as he tried to fervently assure himself these statements were true.  
  
He strained to get his eyes to focus as he peered in to the artificial night that Duo had created for himself: closed blinds, black walls, black ceiling, black everything. The large cerulean orbs complied with their owner's wishes and vague shapes began to swirl out at him from the darkness.  
  
The first thing Quatre noticed was the digital clock on Duo's nightstand, glowing bright red. It strongly reminded the teen of eyes leering out at him from the abyss in a horror movie. His eyes fell on the bed. Duo way lying amongst the twisted, unmade, black silk sheets. Quatre breathed a sigh of relief as his hand pressed itself firmly over his thrashing heart. He was only sleeping. He should have known! Duo was a heavy sleeper.  
  
"Hey Duo, I making tea. You want some?" He asked. The figure of Shingami did not stir. "Duo?" Quatre's voice rose and trembled slightly on the second syllable of his friend's name. He walked timidly over to where the American lay. "Wake up." He shook Duo's shoulder. His fingers made contact with something hot and sticky. Surprised, Quatre jerked his hand back and inspected it. It was red and thick. Dark, dark, red, thick liquid. In a quick motion, Quatre turned Duo's body over to face him. There was a vertical hole running on his pale and once intact throat. Oozing out of the gnash was red tears. Quatre scrambled off the bed and cried out when he saw there were dark spreading patches of the same color on the knees of his jeans.  
  
Have you ever seen in a nature show an animal crossing a river and an alligator traps it in its jaws? As it is dragged in to the swirling waters, it screams. That was how Quatre felt. And that was how Quatre screamed.  
  
Duo opened his eyes to see an ethereal being. Light golden hair, crystalline blue eyes looking as clear, emotional and innocent as a child's, and pale delicate skin. He had seen this image many a time growing up in Maxwell Church. It was an angel. He was in heaven? He always assumed that people who killed themselves went to places that were.well...a lot warmer. This angel did not have a halo. This angel did not have wings. The angel sank to its knees.  
  
"Why Duo?" It asked in a shaking voice. "Why did you do this?" Duo smiled faintly. He tried to speak, tried to explain his reason for suffering, but only resulted in coughing up blood. The angel cried in anguish and covered its face in its hands.  
  
"Don't cry." Duo whispered in a thick and unfamiliar voice as the angel sobbed. The fading jewel colored eyes flickered closed. "It's nothing to get upset over. Accidents happen." 


	7. Untitled

Disclaimer: I don't own this. If it makes you feel better, some very rich, scary, corporal peoples in Japan do.  
  
Grinning Reaper: Minna! Konnichiwa! This is chapter six! Yay! Yay!  
  
Wufei: ... ... ...  
  
Quatre: Thank you to those who review and are so nice by the way. Reaper- chan and Sorrow really appreciate it!  
  
Sorrow: BUUUUUUUUUUURRNNN!  
  
Grinning Reaper: Right, with that aside, lets get to the fic.  
  
  
  
Chapter six:  
  
  
  
"No really Relena, I insist, I wouldn't be a proper host if you didn't stay." I repeated for the umpteenth time this evening. I had my back turned to both Heero and Relena, chopping vegetables hurriedly.  
  
"Quatre, I just wanted to bring by the pound cake and check on all of you, I have to see if my boys are doing all right." Relena replied. "I don't have to stay for dinner."  
  
"Really," I began. "I want you to." Gods I felt so tired and stretched so thin. Like old elastic.  
  
"Have you been sleeping and eating these days? You look so thin." Relena asked. To be serious, I can't remember the last time I ate or slept a night through totally.[1]  
  
"Of course Relena! I'm fine." I laughed; the sound was high and shrilled.  
  
"Liar." Heero snorted. "You haven't eaten in two days." Relena looked at me, horrified.  
  
"I've been busy." I said at last. I didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to finish chopping my vegetables, put food in their mouths and then take a nap. A nice long nap too. A hand grasped my elbow and pulled me away from the counter.  
  
"Sit." Heero commanded. "Eat." He pushed the plate of Italian bread that he and Relana had been eating towards me. He glowered down at me until I picked up a piece and gnawed on it. "Hn." He then turned around and began to chop the vegetables. Once I swallowed the first bite, the dull pain that had been my hunger sharpened. I didn't realize how hungry I was until now.  
  
"I'm glad that you're all doing okay. Say, do you think Wufei has gotten any better?" She means well. I know she does. But does she have to ask the same question every time she comes over when the answer is just as repetitive? She is just looking out for her friend, that's all. I told myself this over and over.  
  
No she isn't! Friend?!? She and Wufei barely spoke! She just wants an excuse to come here more often so she can see Heero and-shut up Quatre, I berated myself bluntly; you're being stupid and selfish. If she's not Wufei's friend, she's yours and she's been nice to all of you and you shouldn't think badly of her.  
  
"Are you alright?" She asks me, putting a hand on my shoulder.  
  
"Fine." I choke out bitterly.  
  
"Maybe you should go lay down and rest a while Quatre." She suggests her face shows general concern. I nodded and got to my feet. Then next thing I know I'm in the living room and lying down on the couch. It was almost like I blinked and I was there. I let my eyes drift shut. The lids felt so heavy that they practically fell shut on their own. Sleep hit me heavy and hard; as I tumbled in to the dreamless state I heard Relena's voice:  
  
"So Heero, what have you been up to?" I wasn't sure how long I lay there but the next coherent thing to me was Heero's voice.  
  
"Quatre." I felt a hand shaking my shoulder and his voice calling out to me but I was reluctant to withdraw from my darkness. "Dinner." Heero urged again, shaking my shoulder. I tried to sit up. It was easily the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Just sitting up.  
  
Blink. I'm in the dining room and the chicken tandori and salad was being laid out on the table.  
  
"Hey Quat!" Duo pipes cheerfully. "Have a nice nap?" I nodded.  
  
"He looked like he was asleep before he even laid down." Relena supplied helpfully. [2] Wufei shot a glance and me and sat down. In that small glance he said so much. He understood. He knew. We all took our place and started to eat. Before I know it the chicken was done and we were eating Relena's pound cake.  
  
"Milliardo sends his regards." Relena offered suddenly as she was leaving. Heero's brows furrowed slightly.  
  
"You've been telling him.?" Duo asked. The end of the sentence hung in the air.  
  
"Well, yes." Relena stated. "He is my brother. I talk to him about you guys after every visit. Is that wrong?" Dou shook his head.  
  
"No, it's just that I didn't think that he'd care." Relena shrugged on her coat.  
  
"He does." She replied with a brilliant smile. "I'll see you soon." She said looking pointedly at Wufei before shutting the door. He shuddered. I'm serious. Wufei shuddered.  
  
[1] The former is partly Heero's fault I'm sure. ^,^  
  
[2] And helpful the broad is. 


	8. Pulse

Disclaimer: The Power to own the World was on my Christmas list. I didn't get what I want this year so no, I don't own Gundam Wing....there's always next year however....  
  
Grinning Reaper: And we're BACK minna-san! I almost thought that I wasn't going to write in this anymore!  
  
Quatre: Why not??  
  
Wufei: She had the world's worst case of writer's block...in her opinion anyway.  
  
Heero: ...  
  
Grinning Reaper: It really was terrible! So I wrote a few fics to clear it. More shameless advertisements: Go and read 'When Quatre Gives you Lemons' and 'My Angel has a Halo' I'm actually quite proud of both of them!  
  
Trowa: I'm in one!  
  
Grinning Reaper: That's right. Now let's get on with this shall we?  
  
Chapter seven: Pulse  
  
It was late at night when I woke for the second time. I rolled over and half expected to see Duo's sleeping face looking back at me. Ever since the first time we shared a bed the two of us had turned it into a nightly routine. But the bed was empty save for me. I sit up and look around because sometimes he is at his computer reading or typing something. But the room was also empty. I swung my feet from the bed and onto the floor. I sat there for a moment. It was strangely silent. Nothing is ever this quiet when Duo is around. I heard a noise from the bathroom. A light thump. I walked over to the door and rapped on it gently. There was no reply. Did he hear me knock or was he just not answering? Slowly, I turned the knob and opened the door. It was darker in the bathroom than it was in the room. I blinked into the blackness, trying to make my eyes adjust. No such luck. Sighing, I flipped on the light. Duo was sitting crumbled up against the wall, his face buried in his knees. I walked over to him and knelt beside him.  
  
"Fei?" His voice was quiet and cracked slightly. I rested my head on his shoulder and wrapped both my arms around his waist. "I'm sorry Fei." He murmured. I tried to get him to look me in the eye but his head remained folded downward. It was then that I felt something hot and sticky trail down my forearm. Before I could control it, my hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, causing him to yelp in what was either pain or surprise. I pulled his arm up so I could see it. There were two slash marks on his forearm. In his other hand was a razor.  
  
"I'm sorry." He mumbled again, lowering his gaze. I snatched the razor from him and drew it across my own arm in the same exact spot.  
  
"Fei!!" He screeched "What the hell do you think you're doing?!?" He grabbed the hand that held the razor and yanked it away from my arm before I could make the second cut. "Huh? What did you think that you were doing?" He demanded shaking me a bit. I glared up at him. Realization dawned in those bruised eyes. He understood. He felt what I did whenever he did that. "I guess I'm not one to be talking." He said softly. I sighed. I wrapped my arms loosely around his waist and let my head drop onto his shoulder. He let out a shaky breath and allowed his fingers drift through my hair. He was shaking a bit. I tightened my grip around him. I gazed up at him his eyes were half closed.  
  
"It's just that sometimes I...I don't know. I just don't think that it's worth it sometimes you know? Like I don't think that I should be around anymore because I'm so much trouble to all of you." I shook my head back and forth quickly. I wanted to tell him that he wasn't any trouble to me. That he was the one that held us all together. That he was a foundation for us. And as shaky and unpredictable a foundation he was, he was ours nonetheless, he made us laugh, he watched over us and above all he loved us. But every time that the words rose up in my throat they were squashed back down. Fire was burning in my throat and behind my eyes. I couldn't utter even a sound. I am that damned pathetic. Useless. I clenched my jaw. This was so frustrating.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset." He said softly when I buried my face in his shoulder. I was not going to cry. Duo said himself that boys don't cry. So that would mean that men don't either. I drew in a shaky breath and waved my thoughts away with my hand. I raise my head and open the cabinet beside me. I pull out the first aid kit and got out band- aids and Neosporin. I apply the salve to his wounds and put a band-aid over them before giving myself the same treatment. Duo smiled wanly and ruffled my hair.  
  
"Thanks 'Fei." He says quietly. I shrug and reset my head against his shoulder. He starts twisting a lock of my hair around his finger. We sat on the cold bathroom floor tiles in silence. "Hey uhm, 'Fei...?" his voice is different now. Shyer. I look up at him. He's looking away from me. "c- could I kiss you?" He asked in a tiny voice. I stared up at him in shock. He didn't really mean that...did he? Now I absolutely *had* to talk. I drew in a deep breath and held it there. The words just wouldn't come. Duo smiled and gently brushed his lips over mine. I felt a spark of static electricity tingle through my body.  
  
"Is this okay?" he asked softly. I did the best that I could given the circumstances: I nodded. He leaned over and kissed me again. His lips were soft and gentle. I hadn't really taken the time to imagine what getting kissed by him would be like but if I did it would be something like this. He pushed apart my lips with his tongue and slid into my mouth, coaxing my tongue to play with his. I had never really kissed anyone like this before, it feels kind of strange but not in a bad way. Most definitely not. He pulled back and kissed the tip of my nose and smiled at me.  
  
"Wanna get back in bed?" He asked with a grin. I was altogether sure that sleeping was the last thing on his mind. I smiled slightly in return and nodded once more. Sleep was the last thing on my mind as well.  
  
Grinning Reaper: Yaoi goodness! SMEG!!  
  
Wufei: 0,o  
  
Duo: Excellent chapter bravo, bravo.  
  
Trowa: You're just happy because you nailed Wufei...  
  
Qautre: 0,o  
  
Heero: I thought that it sucked.  
  
Quatre: Heero! That isn't nice!  
  
Grinning Reaper: SILENCE SPANDEX BOY BEFORE I SMITE THEE!!  
  
Wufei: You've been watching Lord of the Rings again haven't you?  
  
Grinning Reaper: Legolassssss....... Aragorn..... ::drool::  
  
Everyone else: o,0 


	9. Horizon

Disclaimer: Okay. If I owned this there would be a lot more yaoi and A LOT less Relena.  
  
  
  
Grinning Reaper: Arigatou reviewers!! ::bows:: Thank you so much for you lovely reviews!! All you encouragement really helps!! ::heart::  
  
Wufei: -_- Her father has bought her a pack of pixie stix..  
  
Grinning Reaper: This chappie is uber sappy. (RHYMED!) Because I just came from reading DVG's Fic 'Of Blood and Tears' (OH MY GAWD THAT IS SO GOOD READ IT!)  
  
Duo: Ahm...I think that we should start writing...  
  
Trowa: Twowa....? What the hell?  
  
  
  
Chapter 8:Horizon  
  
  
  
I walk quietly down the hall so as not to wake the others. It's late at night. Maybe around midnight or so. I'm not sure why I got up. Something inside me felt unsettled. Wary, the way I felt before a battle. Even now as I'm silently going down the stairs I feel the adrenaline rising in the back of my brain. Something isn't right. I walk in to the kitchen. There isn't anything there. I hear a muffled whimper from the living room. I tense and inch toward the noise ready to spring and attack. I creep in silently and pause in the doorway. Quatre is standing underneath a pale silver shaft of moonlight, rubbing his right shoulder and shaking slightly. The light shines brightly and steadily on him making him seem paler than ever. He is wearing those white pajamas again. I gaze him up and down. Something is the matter with him. He looks worse that he ever has before. My eyes widen as I take a closer look at him. I can see his ribs through his shirt. I come up behind him. His eyes have rings around them and look like they're about to cry at any second.  
  
"You're awake." I say softly. He starts slightly and then turns around to face me. He tries to smile brightly but it only looks forced. I glare at him. He wasn't fooling me.  
  
"I am." He says softly.  
  
"Why?" I asked. It was an innocent question enough but for what ever his reasons Quatre bursts in to tears.  
  
"I-I miss them Heero." He admits amongst hiccupping sobs.  
  
"Them?" I echo.  
  
"Trowa and Wufei. I m-miss them." Quatre begins to scrub his eyes with the back of his hands.  
  
"Wufei is still here with us though." I say as gently as I knew how. Quatre sniffles slightly.  
  
"Not the Wufei I used to know. He just some kind of shell; to me he's just as dead as Trowa." He says bitterly.  
  
"You said that Trowa wasn't dead though." I pointed out. "You would always say that you wouldn't believe it until you had proof." Quatre laughed sadly.  
  
"Who am I kidding? You all knew that he was dead. I just kept denying it. I need to grow up and see things for what they are."  
  
"Stop talking like that." I said firmly. "The Quatre I know doesn't think like that. Do you want the others to think that you're dead like Trowa too?" I demanded. Quatre blinked at me in surprise and another tear rolled down his cheek. I tried to think of what to do. I had never been in a situation like this. If some one around me started to cry I would walk away. But there's no walking away now. Quatre wouldn't let me. I asked myself what would he do in this case. Hug the person that is crying I suppose. I reach out to him and wrap my arms loosely around his waist. It wasn't meant to be sexual. Embraces of that sort were easier. Quatre buried his face in my shoulder and a shudder ran through him.  
  
"Can we go to bed now?" He asks softly. I shake my head.  
  
"No. I want you to eat something first." I answer suddenly very aware that I could feel each individual rib through his shirt. In all the times that I had been intimate with him and seen his chest and his stomach and his legs, I hadn't noticed. How had the others let him get this bad? How did I let him get this bad?  
  
"I c-c-can't eat Heero." He stammers.  
  
"Bullshit." I say, lifting him off his tiny little feet. I make my way to the kitchen. Once I'm in there I let him down but I keep holding on to his shirtsleeve incase he tries to get away. I heat some soup that was left over from yesterday and give it to him. He pushes the bowl away. With a tiny growl of frustration I pull him down so he's sitting on my knees and wrap an arm around him so both of his arms are pinned. I take a spoonful of the soup and prod at his lips with it.  
  
"Heero..." He says wearily. As his mouth opens I use it as an opportunity to put the spoon in it.  
  
"Eat." I tell him, taking another spoonful and trying to get him to swallow. He obliges and takes more spoonfuls before refusing again.  
  
"No more." He says turning his head to the side. "I can't eat it anymore. I'm gonna be sick." There were no more that three more mouthfuls left in the bowl.  
  
"Finish it." I said. "There isn't much left. You have to finish it. The reason that you're feeling sick is because your body isn't used to eating this much food at once. It hasn't in a long time. But if you don't start eating enough then you'll starve." Quatre looks uncertain for a few moments before taking the spoon into his mouth again. He forces down the rest of his soup and at last I let him go. With a heavy sigh he rests his head on my shoulder and kisses my cheek.  
  
"I finished it." He notes. I nodded my head. He smiles thinly up at me. "I feel much better now. Thank you." I shrug and tuck my chin in the curve of his neck. It happens so suddenly. I'm kissing him again and now we're both stumbling toward my room. Sound, touch, taste, sight and smell all seem to blur together and some point into one big swirl. He's terribly warm. His breathless laughter mingles with my groans as I pushed in and out of him and what seems like eternities later, he's drifting off to sleep beside me.  
  
I can't seem to sleep. There is still that feeling of a rising battle inside me. That danger that took away Trowa will come again. And I think that their return is just on the horizon.  
  
Duo: ... ... ... Well. That was different.  
  
Grinning Reaper: Sorry sorry sorryness so sorry. My friend threatened me with bodily harm that if I didn't write a some what lemon then she'd beat me up. I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!!!!  
  
Quatre: Yes, please don't...  
  
Wufei: ::in a dead faint::  
  
Duo: Heyyy....how come I didn't get to be in a lemon!?!  
  
Grinning Reaper: Because my friend happens to be a 1x4 fan. ^,^; I might make a lemon for you in Not Your Average Kung Fu Moive....  
  
Everyone else: NO!!!!!!!  
  
Grinning Reaper: ::sighs:: Well what I wrote was really more lime-ish any- hoo.ahm.....r&r mmkay? 


	10. Beginning of the End in the Middle

Disclaimer: If I owned this...Relena would have died in the first episode.  
  
Grinning Reaper: Hihi! Did anyone expect me to ever update again? No? I didn't think that I was going to either. I think that this is another one of my stories that is headed to crapville. But heyyyy! That's okay! I like it and that's about all that matters.  
  
Quatre: This is Duo's chapter!!  
  
Duo: Whoo-hoo! I get to nail 'Fei again!  
  
Wufei: You most certainly DO NOT! ::glower glower::  
  
Grinning Reaper: Mayyybe, maybe not. ^,^  
Chapter Eleven: The Beginning of the End in The Middle  
"'Fei." I called softly, opening the door. I'd finally found him. Wufei. He was standing in the middle of Trowa's room, gazing out the window.  
  
"It's getting closer." He murmurs. I step in to the neat and orderly room and stand close to him.  
  
"What is?" I ask. His face is somber. Serious.  
  
"The end." He replies simply. "Duo, you can't leave now, it's almost the end." His voice takes on a pleading tone now. Tears are welled up in his eyes.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere." I tell him firmly, gripping his shoulders. The second I touch him I see things. A bathtub, blood. Trowa dead. A scream. Wufei's scream. Cold murderous blue eyes.  
  
"Don't let it be the end." He whispers. I come back to the present. "It's a lie. The name's a lie don't believe it!" Tears are streaking down his face now. Black tears. They're the color of his eyes.  
  
"What are you talking about!?!" This wasn't making any sense to me now. How could a name be a lie? Unless you're under a false one...  
  
"Save me." He whispers. The black tears have changed to red. Blood red. "If you can't save me, save him."  
  
My eyes snap open. I find myself staring at the ceiling of my room. A dream. A particularly weird dream too. Two ebon twin orbs suddenly obscure my vision. Wufei. His eyes are blurry with sleep. He's propped up on his elbow, staring down at me. He looks concerned.  
  
"It was just a nightmare." I assure him, running my fingers through his hair and then cupping his cheek in my palm. "I'm fine." He doesn't look so sure, but believes me anyway. He stretches and lies back down beside me. "You sleep okay?" I ask. He nods vaguely and snuggles closer, obviously intending on returning to dream land. After he's drifted off for several moments, I unwrap myself from around him, get some clothes on, and go down stairs in search of food. As I come down the stairs, I hear a slight commotion. Before I enter the kitchen, Relena nearly barrels me over. Quatre is hot on her heels.  
  
"Relena I really am sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Can we talk this over?" Relena wipes her eyes and shakes her head.  
  
"No Quatre that's okay. I think that I need time to think on my own." She replies, picking up her coat, leaving Quatre standing in the hallway. She opens the door and strides out. Quatre sighs and hangs his head.  
  
"What was that all about?" I ask once everything quieted down. Quatre started slightly, surprised.  
  
"Oh, Duo. I didn't see you there." He says, his hand resting over his heart. "It's just that I-we...and she-" I gave him a pat on the back.  
  
"C'mon." I said, "Whatever it is let's talk about it over some tea eh?" Quatre perked up slightly at the mention of tea.  
  
"Okay." He says nodding slightly. We go into the kitchen and I get the kettle going. Soon, we both have to big steamy cups.  
  
"So." I prompt sitting at the table with him. "Talk." He swirls his cup around a bit, staring into the dark fluid, as if trying to predict the future.  
  
"We weren't doing anything wrong." He blurts out before taking a sip of his tea. I tilt my head.  
  
"You an' Heero?" I asked, taking one of the coconut cookies that I had set out and dunking it into my tea. Quatre looks surprised for a moment before responding.  
  
"Mm-hm. We were just...kissing and we didn't see her come in and then she got upset. We weren't doing anything wrong." Quatre repeats.  
  
"I know." I say offering him a cookie. He takes it and nibbles on it a bit and nods vaguely. Heero comes in, sees Quatre, sees me, and stares at us for a moment.  
  
"Hn." He states. "She left then." He takes a cookie from the plate and eats it, wiping the crumbs from his mouth.  
  
"Yeah. In a big huff like usual." I said trying to cheer Quatre up some. "She's Queen of the world, she isn't used to getting what she wants." I continue, nudging him in the ribs playfully. "It'll all blow over by the end of the week."  
  
"Duo's right." Heero says sitting at the small table with us. He looks to Quatre, who has remained completely silent.  
  
"Did you just say I'm right?" I ask, my eyes widening. Heero takes another cookie.  
  
"Maybe." He says. I stare at him. A compliment from Heero in any way shape or form is like a shooting star, it's rare, and if you blink there's a good chance you'll miss it. Quatre smiles wanly.  
  
"I guess you're right. I guess I am blowing this out of proportion." He says sipping at his tea.  
  
"Of course I'm right." I say matter-of-factly. "She'll probably forget all about it and be back to bother us by noon tomorrow." I assure him. Still, something felt wrong. Maybe it really was the beginning of the end.  
  
Grinning Reaper: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!  
  
Wufei: What are you laughing for?  
  
Grinning Reaper: The sheer joy of laughing of course!!  
  
Trowa: That and she laughs when someone is about to die.  
  
Wufei: ::gulp::  
  
Duo: That was a really trippy dream I had.  
  
Grinning Reaper: Aye. The result of me writing when I've taken Benadryl, and lots of it.  
  
Heero: I had a small part. It'll be bigger in the next chapter right?  
  
Grinning Reaper: Aye. And the next chapter is from the POV of..THE KILLER!! ::gasp:: You all shall never know who they are!! AHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Quatre: Oh dear. Does some one really have to be killed? How about we just have lunch instead?  
  
Grinning Reaper: No dice Q-chan. This is an angsty story.  
  
Sorrow: YES!! ANGST WITH THE ANGST MUSE!!! BUUUUUUUUUURRRRNN!!!  
  
Duo: Heyyyy. I didn't get to nail Fei in this chapter.  
  
Grinning Reaper: Yeah ya did. I just inferred at it!! Look at the part where you leave. It mentions you needing to put on clothes.  
  
Wufei: KISAMA!!!   
  
Grinning Reaper: Well, I'm off to spread misery...so...Ta! 


	11. Not yours to Have

Grinning Reaper: ANGST STRIKES AGAAAAAIN!!!  
  
Quatre: Oh dear.  
  
Duo: As Reaper-chan said, this is from the point of view of the killer. Sooooooooo you might get a teensy eensy clue as to who it is.  
  
Wufei: Teensy eensy?  
  
Grinning Reaper: Quiet you. In any case, I'm proud of this chapter. It's short and demented. ^-^  
  
Trowa: Like you? //,9  
  
Quatre: Trowa! That's terrible!  
  
Trowa: Eh.  
  
Heero: *gags Grinning Reaper* There. Now we can get this chapter started.  
  
Chapter Twelve: Not Yours to Have  
  
They're out side now. He's standing near the curb of the driveway. With Heero. That which doesn't belong to him. Smiling. He's smiling. Well of course he is. He has reason to be happy. I narrow my eyes. I had no reason to be happy. Not as long as he's there. This is all because of him. Quatre smiles again and squeezes Heero's shoulder. He says something. I can barely make it out. A few of the words catch on the breeze.  
  
"………Wufei………chicken today." Heero says something in response that I can't hear. His voice is too soft. He probably said something about that little invalid. Wufei.  
  
"Oh?" The single word floats on the gentle wind over to me from my watching spot. Quatre beams sunnily and leans against Heero. He winds his arm around the shorter blonde's shoulders. I feel rage boil up inside me. Quatre doesn't belong in those arms. Someone who's earned that place, deserves that place should be there.  
  
The turquoise eyes smile once more and Quatre goes over to the large rose bush growing on the other side of the drive. He stoops and picks up a small knife lying on the ground.  
  
"Duo………roses………for inside." I again catch snatches of his words. He's taking in flowers for his friend. How kind. Thoughtful really. Treacherous little slut.  
  
I want to tear those beautiful eyes out of his head. I want to tear those beautiful eyes that are looking at Heero with that caring thoughtful gaze out of his goddamned head. He wouldn't be so beautiful then.  
  
"He's not yours to have Quatre." I murmur softly. "He's not yours to have and you don't understand that. You need to be put in your place." His thin dancers frame jumps slightly. His graceful shoulders draw up to his shell- like ears. For a moment I thought he'd heard me.  
  
But no, the little knife in his hand had only slipped, causing him to split his finger open blood trickles steadily from it and he stares down at it, shocked. Heero says something and walks over to him, inspecting the wound.  
  
"………fine." Quatre says in an insistent yet gentle voice. Heero scowls slightly and looks at the wound closer. Much to Quatre's surprise and my disgust, Heero then puts the wounded finger in his mouth. A dark blush lights Quatre's face ablaze. The temptation to mutilate him was almost too great to stand.  
  
"Stop touching him damn it. He doesn't belong with you." I hiss from my vantage point. Quatre is beautiful when he smiles. And he does that often. Smiling with soft pink full lips showing off perfect white straight teeth.  
  
He murmurs something that I can't hear and rests his head on Heero's shoulder, leaning heavily against him. Heero says nothing but his eyes gaze around and rest almost at where I'm hiding. He suspects something, I know that he does, but he's Heero Yuy, of course he suspects something. Quatre smiles again and they kiss. I feel my stomach tie up in knots and my hands clench into fists. Whore. Whorewhorewhore. I clench my teeth and hiss softly. When I kill him I want to make sure to make his suffer. Fucking little slut deserves it. Can't keep his mouth or his legs shut. I want to cut the corners of his mouth open so it's fixated in a wide ugly smile. I want to tear his eyes out and cut his lips off. Heero won't think he's so pretty then will he? I snicker as the two of them go inside arm in arm. Probably to fuck.  
  
"Enjoy your time with him while you can Quatre Rebabra Winner, your hours are numbered."  
  
Grinning Reaper: Heh. Sorry that last installment took so freaking long…my computer broke and I've been working like a dog so I didn't have time to fix it right away. And sorry if this chapter has confused you. It was supposed to be choppy and kind of badly written. I was trying to capture the essence of insanity. Aw heck maybe I'm just losing my talent………not that I had any in the first place. ^-^ 


	12. Murderous Blue

Disclaimer: Yer face.  
  
Grinning Reaper: AHAHAHAHAH!!!  
  
Quatre: This is the chapter where I die isn't it? *sniff*  
  
Grinning Reaper: Ahahahaha...  
  
Duo: I think that her art teacher has finally driven her insane.  
  
Grinning Reaper: Miss Bang will pay for messing up my dragon drawing!!  
  
Wufei: She messed up your dragon? INJUSTICE!  
  
Grinning Reaper: Indeed.  
  
Quatre: I wanna liiiiiive...  
  
Trowa: I think that Grinning Reaper should write a lemon.  
  
Everyone else: TROWA!!  
  
Trowa: Whaaaat? I haven't said anything for a long time.  
  
Chapter Eleven:  
  
I sit in my window seat and gaze up at the sky. Today was such a beautiful day. It was almost Autumn. The leaves were starting to turn yellow and brown and there was a small breeze. The sky is what I loved best though. It's a clear and crisp stark blue. It almost seems like fresh air. Crisp and cool.  
  
I nearly had the house to myself today. Duo and Heero are grocery shopping, Duo was reluctant to leave the house but I reminded him that Wufei and I wouldn't be by ourselves, we'd have someone else there.  
  
Speaking of Wufei...he'd laid down to take a nap a little while ago shortly before proudly presenting me with the rosin for my violin that I'd lost that he'd apparently found. I smiled and dog-eared the page of my book, setting it down on the nightstand next to the window.  
  
I felt myself frown as I thought of what had happened the other day. By this I mean the incident with Relena. She hadn't come to visit and I assume she was still upset. I suppose I would be. I guess the right thing to do would to pay her a visit and apologize personally. Maybe I could even bring her some of the cookies that I had just put in the over moments ago. They're chocolate marble ones. Duo loves those. Really now that I think of it, he loves all chocolate. Wufei and Heero appear to like them too and I thought that they'd all seemed a bit down so I thought I'd surprise them and make some.  
  
Wufei had looked on and 'assisted' me. He got to crack the eggs and beat them, along with getting the ingredients for the recipe for me. He also had the privilege of licking the spoon when I stirred in the chocolate.  
  
I couldn't help but be reminded of when I was younger and the Maganacs let me 'help' them cook. Wufei had been reduced to a child because Trowa disappeared. I frowned again. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if things will ever go back to just being normal. If Wufei will ever recover from...whatever happened.  
  
I stood and gazed out the window. The sky...it was so beautiful. I smiled and shut my eyes, enjoying the feeling of warm sun on my face. They shot open and I pulled in a sharp gasp at the sensation of an arm wrapping around my waist. I was pulled against a solid body. Heero. I placed a hand over my racing heart. He'd startled me.  
  
"I didn't hear you come it." I said, not taking my eyes off the sky for a moment. I gave another gasp when I felt something cold and metal press against the back of my skull. The nozzle to a gun.  
  
"That's half the point." A voice an all too familiar said in my ear. I had heard that voice thousands and thousands of times in the past. I look up into a pair of cold steely blue eyes as crisp and deep as the sky I had been looking at.  
  
"You're not Heero." I whisper to their sharp, wolf like gaze. Looking up into the dizzying blue I realized that the same thing that had taken Trowa had come for me. This was the end. 


End file.
